The Day That Andy Dick Died--Part I

The day that Andy Dick died, there was an emergency meeting called by the Sunset Strip Chapter of The Greater Hollywood Counsel for the Preservation of Industry Traditions and Historical Conventions Society (G.HO.C.P.O.I.T.A.H.C.S., or just GHOCS, for short) regarding the inevitable tourist backlash such a death would cause to the fragile business economy along the famed community front.

It's a well-known fact among those in the know throughout Hollywood that a major part of what drives tourism along the Strip is that people can, on almost any night of the week, expect to enjoy some kind of star sighting or another. Kevin Nealon and several other very famous personalities are known to perform at the comedy clubs there at least a few nights out of the week--especially on Tuesdays.

Before I begin, however, one short note regarding expectations: Often, when a person hears that they can expect to have one sort of experience or another, they confuse this to mean that it is more than likely to occur. This is very often not the case. A person can expect to have any number of experiences throughout their lifetime, and these expectations may or may not coincide with reality.

Furthermore, rampant and irresponsible cultivation of a set of expectations which can best be classified as "elite" lead many people to habitually deny any range of experience that falls short of this sphere. People can't get locked out of their cars anymore, they don't miss your calls, and the delivery is never 10 minutes too late. Everything arrives exactly the way that you intended it to, or there will be hell to pay. There is no longer an opposing team in the game.

To say that one's expectations for this or that thing are "high" will generally be construed as a good or positive thing. I would simply like the reader to note that my use of the term "expect" does not coincide with the current view. Rather, the term "expect" as I am intending to convey its meaning falls into the Merriam-Webster definition of: "typically contrasted with the actual."

(One further short note is that the actual Merriam-Webster definition of the word "expectation" is not, as aforementioned, "typically contrasted with the actual," but the Merriam-Webster definition of the word "actual" is "typically contrasted with what was intended, believed, or expected." Therefore if x + y = z, then it must also follow that y + x also = z.)

A common axiom (especially among those like myself who were raised in particularly Buddhist cultures) is that having expectation is synonymous with having disappointment, and that the higher the level of expectation, the higher the level of disappointment. Therefore, please interpret the phrase: "It is a well-known fact among those in the know throughout Hollywood that a major part of what drives tourism along the Strip is that people can, on almost any night of the week, expect to enjoy some kind of star sighting or another" instead to mean that people visiting the Sunset Strip can, on almost any night of the week, expect to suffer some kind of disappointment.

In fact, this very relationship between expectation and disappointment was the issue on the table of GHOC the day that Andy Dick died, because this connection is the foundation that all commerce it built upon. Somewhere in-between what's being promised and the failure to deliver it must be a dangling carrot--something to drive the cart forward and keep driving it forward indefinitely.

That carrot, for the hopeful tourists flocking the Strip, for the businessmen and women whose livelihoods depended on its flourishing, and for the powerful hooded magistrates of the GHOC, was Andy Dick. Until the day that he suddenly and unexpectedly died.

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